*Disclaimer: I’m not an expert; these are my thoughts and questions as I’m studying.

While doing homework, I often play background noise to stay focused whether it’s instrumental jazz, a favorite K-drama, gospel music, or one of my favourite true crime shows like The World’s Most Evil Killers, strange but it helps me focus. Sometimes an episode would grab my attention.

Last weekend, I watched a case that stuck with me. It involved a man whose story began in the 1980s and ended with his death in prison in 2018. His upbringing was marked by rejection his family didn’t accept his sexual orientation, and that lack of support shaped his adult relationships. After moving to London, he tried to find a community where he was accepted, his relationships didn’t go further that a one-night stand. A long-term relationship that lasted 18 months eventually ended, and that seemed to be his emotional breaking point.

His first murder was a 14-year-old homeless boy. Every victim after that shared the same vulnerabilities. I couldn’t help but wonder if he saw himself in these boys isolated, searching for help, and desperate to be seen. It felt as though each act of violence was a twisted form of self-harm, a way of killing the parts of himself he couldn’t reconcile. I believe that he struggled with low self-esteem, rejected, felt unloved, unheard, and incapable of sustaining meaningful relationships.

I understand that the end of his long-term relationship triggered something deep, but the question for me was: how does heartbreak escalate to murder? What psychological triggers allow someone to cross that line?

Something else that really gets to me is how the media gives serial killers these dramatic nicknames like “The Trash Bag Killer.” It feels like branding like they’re turning tragedy into a headline, and it ends up putting more focus on the killer than the people who were hurt. It makes me wonder: are we really trying to educate people, or are we just feeding into a story that makes the criminal look larger than life?

This case reminded me that behind every crime is someone with an identity, trauma, and needs that they can’t fulfill. I’m not excusing the violence, I’m just wanting to understand the “why”, get as close as possible to it, that is one of the reasons I’m drawn to Criminal Psychology.

Episode: World’s Most Evil Killers – Season 1, Episode 8 – Dennis Nilsen